quietly

i bet everyone had feeling like this before.
but, why do i have to feel it so many times? hehe
i don't want to make this as a sad bloggie or something gloomy or showing how upset am i with my life.
i just can't understand why do i have to be so talkative as shit and closed down my story to others.
i just can't believe them anymore.

if one person just left, it might not be noticed as well.
but if one by one left, it'll be a burden for me.
and i've felt the burden right now. dunno why.
they haven't left me for "real", i mean, their bodies are here, with me.
but i can't feel the passion from them being near of me, or having a deep relationship with me.
or at least just being a bestie.

i'm always being the second choice.
to talk to. to tell to. to be the one you can lean on. to be the secret keeper.
i'm always having this random feeling along with me nowadays.
well, maybe it's just me :)